Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Weed Could Be Wrecking Your Heart – Study Uncovers Dangers of Smoking and Edibles - SciTechDaily

It’s here now, writing to you.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Why does Russia support Palestine in the Middle East conflict?

I was tired of trying and failing.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

And the sadness?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

The largest black hole jet ever discovered is three times bigger than the Milky Way - Boy Genius Report

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s still here.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Do women like men who have slept with many women?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I was tired of fighting.

I had run out of hope.

Watch 'superorganism' created by tiny worms — the first time it's ever been spotted in the wild - Live Science

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

The sadness was still there.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Forget running — NASA says ‘rebounding’ is more effective than a 30-minute run, here’s how to do it - Tom's Guide

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Be who you already are.

Does the pro-choice movement realise that all the money used to subside abortions can be used to subsidize daycare and other financial support for single mothers with unplanned pregnancies?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are like me, then.

Is there any kind of mold that might be good for your skin?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.